Radical: "Marriage should be outlawed"

ESTABLISHING CONSENSUS:

http://www.gallup.com/poll/117328/marriage.aspx

“When a man and woman plan to spend the rest of their lives together as a couple, how important is it to you that they legally marry?”

• 2013, June 20-24:
• Very important: 43%
• Somewhat important: 21%
• Not too important: 16%
• Not important at all: 19%
• No opinion: 1%
• 2006, June 8-25:
• Very important: 54%
• Somewhat important: 19%
• Not too important: 13%
• Not important at all: 12%
• No opinion at all: 1%

Only 19% of people in 2013 (12% in 2006) believe marriage isn’t at all important for a successful relationship or moral highground.

“When an unmarried man and woman have a child together, how important is it to you that they legally marry?”

• 2013, June 20-24:
• Very important: 38%
• Somewhat important: 26%
• Not too important: 15%
• Not at all important: 20%
• No opinion: 1%
• 2006, June 8-25:
• Very important: 49%
• Somewhat important: 27%
• Not too important:12%
• Not at all important: 11%
• No opinion: 1%

Only 20% of people in 2013 (11% in 2006) believe marriage isn’t at all important for a couple to have children together.

“Would you like to get married someday, or not?”

• 2013, June 20-24:
• Yes: 78%
• No: 19%
• No opinion: 3%

Only 19% of people in 2013 don’t plan on getting married.

“Would you like to get married again someday, or not? (asked divorced individuals)

• 2013, June 20-24:
• Yes: 37%
• No: 58%
• No opinion: 4%

58% of people learned from a failed marriage that they would not marry again.

SPEECH:
(slides #2,3,4)

The consensus is clear that most people agree with marriage, and that it is important for couples to be married if they are having children. It is widely agreed upon that people would like to get married, or see marriage as a goal of theirs. It is only when it comes to divorced individuals that we see the consensus change, where the majority of people polled would say marriage isn’t the best route to attempt again.

(slide #5)
**according to: American Psychological Association:
"Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50... However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher."

REASONS TO NOT GET MARRIED:

https://dontmarry.wordpress.com/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/sexual-politics/marriage/11-more-reasons-for-a-straight-man-to-avoid-marriage/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2195230/10-reasons-NEVER-married--Online-presenter-taking-web-storm-offers-unique-wisdom-getting-wed.html

1. Divorce (43% of western marriages end in divorce)
1. Expensive
2. Breaks up families
3. Traumatic
4. Causes trust issues
2. Disappointment
1. “To make one feel whole/complete”
2. Seen as an end to all means= not true
3. Added responsibility of another person and their happiness
4. Sacrifice and compromise on life goals and desires
1. Compromise on religious beliefs (or any other important beliefs they may not agree on)
5. Confusing one’s own journey with the needs of significant other’s journey
6. Self-esteem
1. Partners have extreme potential to cut one another down (deeper and more often than other people close to them)
2. Criticisms
3. Adhering to gender-roles
7. In-Laws (as if dealing with your own parents wasn’t troubling enough)
8. Working longer hours at work to compensate for extra costs of having a partner or family. (This leads to less time to actually spend with one’s partner or family)
1. Less flexibility and more responsibility
9. Having to ask permission before acting (because now, one’s actions affect their partner)
10. Less alone time/ access to one’s individual interests that aren’t shared by partner.
11. ONE PARTNER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
1. This isn’t always the case, but often the spouse would prefer to be the only one their significant other gazes upon
1. That means no more porn
3. Cost
1. Women (or partner in lower financial bracket) often come into marriage with very few assets
1. Often come with substantial debt
2. Man (or breadwinner) is now responsible for fixing significant other’s financial problems
3. RING (often a fraction of the cost of the actual WEDDING ceremony and reception and HONEYMOON)
1. Gifts
1. Birthdays
2. Anniversaries
3. Vacations
2. “Necessities”
1. Home
2. Car
3. Clothes/ other goods
4. Children
1. One parent might quit working to raise the kids
2. Must come up with extra income for food and other necessities for child
3. College tuition fund
4. Daycare/ preschool ($1000+ a month)

COUNTER-ARGUMENTS:

1. “So I won’t die alone”
1. Most likely, one spouse will die alone.
1. Hospital/Retirement home visits
1. But you could both die simultaneously in an accident
2. “I have someone to grow old with”
1. Stats say that 43% of married couples in North America will become divorced
1. Then you get to enter your twilight years broke and alone
2. Many married couples grow apart and learn to dislike one another even if they decide to stay married, they might as well just walk away from it.
3. “I’ll get regular sex”
1. Sex in marriage often depletes after 10 years.
1. Most western, married men will have more sex with their western wives in the first six months of their marriage than they will in the next 40 years. OUCH
2. Becomes a once in awhile thing, rather than a regular thing.

1. “Special occasions”
1. Having children can lead to infrequent sex (once or twice a year)
2. A tactic some spouses use is actually withholding sex from their partner to manipulate them into doing something they wouldn’t be able to get their partner to do otherwise.

Start, Stop, Continue: Genre Speech

START:

• First and foremost, I need to start being more confident
• I almost start to go into full panic mode when I get up in front of the class. Every part of my body is telling me not to do this. I don’t know where this fear comes from, because when I just think about it, emotions aside, I don’t even understand what is so scary. It’s just a class of my peers who are all going through the same thing as I am. I can’t seem to put my finger on why public speaking shatters my high level of self-confidence that I have worked so hard these last few years to achieve. All I can think is that it is just an irrational fear of mine that I need to face head on so that it no longer controls me.
• The audio could be terrible on my phone, or the more likely scenario is that I need to start speaking louder and enunciate my words.
• This shouldn’t be a problem for me because Iam commonly asked to “quiet down” or “take it down a notch” due to my booming voice, but this does not come through in my speeches. I felt as though I was reminding myself to speak loud so everyone could hear me during my speech, but I think the nerves got the best of me. I tend to second guess my natural self when I feel under pressure, nervous, or anxious. I just need to be more mindful of my volume. Also, I need to not run through my words so fast. This is also do to nerves. I need to take my time and enunciate my words.
• It would be better if I were to scan the room for better eye contact.
• It is not as though I don’t look around, but I notice I really only hit a couple people with my direct line of vision. I don’t even notice this while I am up at the front of the classroom presenting. Something to remember when presenting would be to constantly be scanning the room for eyes, rather than a few locations. This would appear more inclusive to my audience and appear more friendly and professional.
• I noticed that I do not move around very much. It would be better if I used a little more space when presenting.
• Staying stagnant in one place shows insecurity, and doesn’t demand as much presence or attention from the audience. To move around shows comfort. When the presenter is comfortable, the audience is more likely to listen to what they are presenting rather than picking out quirks about the presenter.

STOP:

• I caught myself saying “um” and “uh”
• instead, pause until the thoughts have been gathered and then start talking again, leaving out the “um”s and “uh”s.
• STOP clicking my tongue.
• I click my tongue instead of sighing, and it shows as a lack of confidence.
• This, to me, sounds like I'm disappointed in myself. This is not the kind of message one should be conveying to the audience.
• I often find myself putting my hands together: Rubbing my hands together, holding them together in front of me, and always returning my hands after gestures back to that comfort zone.
• This is a coping mechanism to feel more comfortable because I am so uncomfortable and nervous, I am doing anything I can to distract me from the sheer terror I am experiencing.
• I noticed on my elevator pitch I would grab my forearm instead of my hands like I was doing in this speech. I think this is another coping mechanism for myself. Touch seems to comfort me.
• Looking at the screen
• again, for comfort. I knew the material, but I referenced the slides too much, and it actually messed me up
• Improvising       
• I noticed that I did not stick to what I had written and previously practiced. I think this was just because of the nervousness, and I wanted it to sound natural and     not scripted. This lead to more “uh”s and “um”s and “likes” which made my speech very unprofessional. The tactic of improvising-a-little, blew up in my face and did the exact opposite of my intention. I came off unprepared and more nervous than if I had just kept my script the way I had practiced.   

CONTINUE:

• One thing I found that I liked was when I introduced myself
• I could see my stress level peak right before I began to speak. After I introduce myself confidently, I seem a bit more at ease. I don’t know why this is, but I think it is an important aspect that I need to keep in my speeches.
• I’m happy every time that I get up there and don’t completely freak out.
• When I stand up there to present, I feel like I am going to have a full on meltdown. It feels like the makings of a panic attack, but instead of letting it take control and freak me out, I power through and attack it head on.

STUDENT MOVES:

• LaQuey had this move where he summarized what his speech was about and delivered this summery before and after the body of his speech. This came off as very professional and clean. The audience knew what LaQuey was going to present, and once all the information was presented, he reminded the audience of what his speech was about. This tactic really drove home his key points, because after clearly stating them like that, there was no way the audience didn't pick up on those points.
• Daisy had a great move which was mirroring the energy that she had emphasized in her speech. Not only did she describe what a tour guide is, and how their energy is important, she showed us. This made the speech seem more real and relatable. The audience walked away with more than just information on campus tours; We left with an impression of what a college campus tour actually would feel like. Feelings are harder to convey, and I think Daisy did a very good job of conveying the campus tour experience.